trained sex + RelationshiP therapist | worldwide
sex therapy for high-achievers
for over-achievers, high-performers + perfectionists
when success and your sex life Are not aligned.
You’ve built a life that looks impressive from the outside, but inside your relationship, something feels off. Maybe your desire has faded. Maybe your sex life feels like another task on a long to-do list. Or maybe you and your partner are stuck in a frustrating pattern of mismatched libido.
Many of my clients are high-achieving women and men who excel in their careers, manage multiple roles, and are deeply committed to growth. Yet despite all that capability, they struggle when it comes to intimacy, connection, and sexual desire.
As a sex therapist who works with high achievers, I see this pattern often. In fact it’s glaringly common.
You’re used to solving problems, managing stress, and staying in control. But desire doesn’t respond to control, instead it’s looking for safety, presence, and connection. When your nervous system is constantly on high alert and primed for stress, it’s hard for your body to access pleasure or sexual energy, no matter how much love or attraction there is.
Many people feel shame, but this is not your fault and you are emphatically not alone.
The hidden link between perfectionism, achievement and libido.
High-functioning people tend to run on drive, focus, and responsibility. These traits are incredibly valuable for success and the society we live in, but they also keep the nervous system in a near-constant state of activation. When your mind is always racing, your body rarely gets the chance to rest, feel, and receive.
That chronic and stressed out state can make it difficult to access desire or pleasure. It’s common for high achievers to experience:
Low or fluctuating libido
Mismatched desire with a partner
Difficulty being present during intimacy (too many tabs open anyone?)
Perfectionism or performance anxiety around sex
Emotional disconnection even in otherwise loving relationships
Sexual desire thrives in safety, spaciousness, and emotional connection — the very qualities that often get lost in busy, achievement-driven lives.
sex therapy for executives, high-achievers and perfectionists.
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"It's hard to experience desire when you're weighted down by concern"
Esther perel, relationship expert and author of ‘Mating in Captivity’
sex + relationship issues
busy brain + perfectionism
Many of the high-achieving women and men I work with describe a constant internal hum — a busy brain that never quite switches off. You might find yourself overthinking during intimacy or focusing on your partner’s satisfaction instead of your own.
Perfectionism can create invisible pressure to “do it right,” which shuts down curiosity and playfulness. And when desire becomes another thing to work on or improve, it loses its natural energy.
In sex therapy, we look at how to quiet the mind, reconnect with the body, and rediscover pleasure as something that flows, not something to perform.
sex + relationship issues
the role of trauma
Sometimes, earlier experiences — emotional neglect, relational ruptures, or sexual trauma — create patterns that shape how we show up in intimacy.
These experiences don’t have to define you, but they can quietly influence desire, arousal, and connection.
As a trauma-informed sex therapist, I integrate rigorous training in clinical sexology with Internal Family Systems (IFS) and Brainspotting to gently address the emotional and somatic layers beneath low desire or sexual disconnection. Together, we can create space for healing, safety, and renewed vitality.
Sex therapy can help,
together we will bring in:
understanding + compassion
Building awareness of the - solvable - emotional, relational, and physiological roots of low or mismatched desire
relaxation + calmness
By helping you reconnect to your body we will work together to reduce anxiety, lower pressure and stave off performance worries.
trust + intimacy
By cultivating a sense of being an intimate team, encouraging emotional closeness and increasing trust, you can build a more authentic and satisfying sexual relationship.
Lucy Orton therapy + coaching
LGBTQIA+, KINK + Consensual Non-monogamy Affirming Care statement:
My practice provides inclusive, affirming sex therapy for High-achievers, individuals and couples of all sexual orientations and gender identities.
I am committed to inclusion ins sex therapy and have completed AASECT-accredited trainings to address the unique sexual challenges and stresses faced by sexual and gender minorities.
Ready to get started?
Sex therapy is not about “fixing” you. It’s about helping you understand yourself more deeply and reconnect with your natural capacity for intimacy, pleasure, and connection.
If you’re a high achiever who feels disconnected from desire, there is a way forward. Together, we can uncover what’s really getting in the way — and help you experience a more grounded, connected, and fulfilling intimate life.
You can learn more about my approach or book a consultation.
Want to talk about sex therapy? Send me a message:
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Please know this:
a satisfying + pleasurable sex life is possible.
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The answer to this question differs from client to client. Some clients come for a 12-session block, while others choose to incorporate sex therapy into their lives, self-care and therapy for a longer period of time.
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Sessions are £210 GBP / $280 USD for 60 minutes.
Rates for couples are higher and session length starts at 90 minutes.
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If you’re interesting in sex therapy sessions for yourself or as a couple/polycule, please contact me to arrange a free consult or a trial session.